Merke's Top 5 Zom-Coms
Ladies, gentlemen, flesh-eaters everywhere; it's that time again... You know... -That- time... Buuh! It's time to take a break from stomping heads and severing limbs to compile another of my soon-to-be famous Top 5s!
I just have something I need to say before any fan-boys throw a tantrum. If your favourite Zom-Com is not in the list, it does not mean that I hate it and that it's a shit film (It's just highly likely) Take this as my disclaimer; this Top 5 is my personal Top 5 and it doesn't represent a factual ranking by any account - it is solely based on my opinion... My amazing, sexy opinion... I jest. Kind of.
For those of you that haven't seen some of the masterpieces referenced to below, I warn you that I do reveal a spoiler or two over the course of this post. I recommend you go away, lock yourself in your room or that of a close-friend and watch all of them. After which you can come back and read this post. Go on, off with you!
Let the countdown commence! *eerie music*
#5: Cockneys Vs Zombies
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| 'Rrrrrrrruuuuuuuuuuuunnnnn!' |
If the scene and quote above weren't enough to put this in your Top 5 then you need your brain checked... And eaten... I literally leaked fluid in laughter - I'll leave from where to your imagination. It's something I can watch, on repeat, and still find hysterical each and every time. In fact, HERE is a link to it on Youtube for you.
In my opinion, Alan Ford steals the show. I already loved him for Lock Stock and Snatch; this film merely adds yet one more reason... That's not to say the rest of the cast sucked, far from it, but he is a head above... Well, you should have watched it by now, so you know what I mean.
Combining a Zombie scenario with a setting in the Eastend of London was always going to be a beautiful combination. It did not disappoint.
#4: Undead (2003)
| 'I'm having a turd of a day.' |
I shambled over this wonderful film last year while trolling through some obscure chat forum. The humour is quite silly... Yes, I do understand that most Zom-Com humour is silly, but this film takes the biscuit for exceptional silliness. I think the opening sums up what I mean - the meteor smashes into the old lady, not with a KABOOM!, but with a slapping sound. Fantastic.
Marion (played by Mumbo McKay, sensational name by the way) is hilarious throughout. His story about the Zombie fish is something my flat-mate and I still refer to and laugh about. The ending leaves it wide open for another film which we've yet to be graced with. Please. Give it to us!
#3: BrainDead (1992)
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| 'Your mother ate my dog!' - 'Not all of it...' |
BrainDead really stands in an apocalypse of its own when viewed with the contents of this list. Where Undead was exceptionally silly, BrainDead combines it with the dark, gory, rotting underbelly of Zombie films. It pains me to admit it but this film made me gag.
The scene in question is relatively close to the start. It pounced on me before I really knew what the fuck was going on. It's when Lionel (Timothy Balme), his mother (Elizabeth Moody) and their two visitors are sat at the table for dinner. Even now, the thought of the mothers ear falling into her custard, the slow, tense rise of the spoon to her mouth and the rubbery squelch as she chews on it make me want to throw up everywhere... But in a good way!
It wasn't until I watched it that I realised it is the source of the famous 'lawnmower' scene that I'd witnessed a long time ago. Despite being the oldest film on this list, it has aged superbly; the gore is fantastic, the characters interesting and the Zombies... Well... Shall we say are portrayed in an interesting fashion. Especially when Zombie Vicar and Zombie Nurse get it on and make Zombie baby... I said it was interesting!
I have already written a full review for BrainDead if you fancy a read. You can find it HERE.
#2: Zombieland (2009)
| 'The first to go... Were the fatties.' |
There comes a time, every couple of years, where I think to myself (Because I wouldn't be thinking to anyone else... Well, maybe you guys... I digress) "That's it. It's done. There won't be any more good Zombie films." And then I cry. And drink. And whack on Night of the Living Dead to relive it all over again.
Then one comes along and hoists you up from the gloomy rut. It brushes you off, wipes away your tears of unfathomable sadness and diagnoses you with a few years left yet. Zombieland, back in 2009, was that film.
I loved how fresh it was. The nice blend of characters, the idea behind Columbus's (Jesse Eisenberg's) list of survival rules, the Bill Murray cameo; it all just came together wonderfully. Being a massive nerd, as I assume most of you are too, I can really connect to the main character having to give up his life of energy drink and computer games (cough*World of Warcraft*cough) to go off and fight the unliving. In fact, that sounds like a dream come true... Another connection we have is that I also have the serious hots for Wichita (Emma Stone)... As I assume you all do too...
You can find my review for Zombieland HERE.
#1: Shaun of the Dead (2004)
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| 'Ohh he's got an off!' |
I won't prattle on for too long as I've already got a full review for Shaun of the Dead HERE. I just think this film epitomises the Zom-Com genre and, while it might be a little lacking in some of the silliness, makes up for it with an underlying wit. I'm sure you've watched it countless times, but I just want to point out what I mean with a quote from the opening stages of the film.
Near the beginning of the film, Ed (Nick Frost) tells Shaun their plan fir the following day. That plan is to: "Have a bloody Mary first thing, grab a bite at the King's Head, have a couple at the Little Princess, stagger back, then come back to the bar for shots!"
It took me a couple of sittings to realise but it foreshadows the entire film. The first Zombie they meet is Mary, in their garden. Shaun's Step Dad is bitten on the neck. They pick up David and Dianne, the couple, from Liz's, the Little Princess. They stagger back to the Winchester, pretending to be Zombies. They finish by using a shotgun at the bar.
That concludes my Top 5 list. I hope it's been relatively amusing for you. You're still reading, so it bloody well must have been. I'll hopefully have a book review out for you by the end of the week. No spoilers yet as to what it is though!
Oh, and I'd like to leave you with a little question. I found some amazing images the other day which I've linked below. My question is: If you could throw Zombies into any film, which film would it be and why? Best answer gets a mystery grand prize.
Slay Safe,
Merke
