5 Great Things About Batman Vs Superman: Dawn of Justice

The hate train is a-coming. Choo choo! BvS has become the puppy everyone loves to kick. Critics and fans alike have been decapitating this movie since it's release two weeks ago.

Now, I'm not going to defend this movie against those criticisms. Many of them are well-founded (especially regarding Superman. Sorry you lost your personality big guy) but that doesn't mean everything in this movie is dreadful.

Here are five things that Batman V Superman got very, very RIGHT!


1. Alfred, The Faithful Butler.

Image: comicvine.com/

Though not surprising, the portrayal of Alfred by Jeremy Irons was fantastic. The quips and one-liners were written superbly and Irons did not disappoint on delivery.


2. The Batman Warehouse Scene

Image: newmediarockstars.com/

Finally, an action Batman. Gone are the days of awkward, stiff, slow and boring, Bats has undergone training (perhaps an all-nighter on the Arkham games?) and come out better of it. Smashing up through the floor, deploying gadgets to remove the enemies strengths before a good ol' beat down in a spiral of Bat-rage. The Arkham game series got its combat very, very right and it does feel the movie has taken from that.

3. Objective Reached: Generate Hype for DCU

Image: moviepilot.com/

My big gripe with BvS: Dawn of Justice was exactly that. Batman Vs Superman: Dawn of Justice. It should have been Batman Vs Superman with Dawn of Justice to follow it six months to a year later. Fortunately, this isn't a gripe post. BvSDoJ gave us a peak at what to expect with the upcoming DC:U. Many fans were disappointed by the cameo shots. I am not amongst them. Aquaman (needs reminding that he doesn't have to hold his brea-STOP IT) looked powerful. Very powerful indeed. Flash's (confusing time line scene that was really unnecessary for the-NO. BAD ME) scene in the convenience store was fantastic, the milk unable to hit the floor as he dashes to stop the robber. Cyborg... Errr... Okay. Well. I liked it. It helps that I know what a Mother Box is...

Oh, and Batman will be in Suicide Squad. Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-

Image: fandango.com/

4. Man of Steel Follow-Up

Image: thefilmexperience.net/

The destruction of Metropolis in Man of Steel caused a huge backlash from fans. "This would cost --- billion dollars to rebuild!" "Why couldn't he do a Goku and take him outside of town?" Blah blah. One thing about it was true though - that level of destruction without a human connection seemed... Meaningless. The city crumbled in the final fight but it didn't leave an impression on fans, who were more concerned about the clean up bill.

Fast forward to BvS and few can deny the greatness of this opening scene. The carnage. The chaos. The Batma-I mean Bruce Wayne. Totally Bruce Wayne and not Batman..... It's probably my favourite scene in the movie. More please.

5. Lex Luthor Vs Senator

Image: capedcrusades.com/

Probably the most controversial on this list,  I had to sneak it in as a personal favourite. These are the few scenes in which the script didn't throat-punch itself. The verbal back and forth between these two characters was great and slowly revealed Luthor's role in the movie, introducing his motives through stories about his father. Cough Heath Ledger Joker cough. I get it, it's very uncomicbookmovie to not overly state "I'M GOING TO SHOW MY POWER OVER SUPERMAN" but I was never a fan of that kind of dialogue-drivel anyway. If these scenes are a taste of what's to come then I'm all for it.

Film: Into The Forest
Director: Peter Sollett
Cast: Ellen Page, Evan Rachel Wood.
Release: 2015
KAEB Rating: 6.5/10

I recently had the pleasure of attending the Busan International Film Festival in South Korea. While I was disheartened at the lack of gory Zombie movies, I did catch Into The Forest directed by Peter Sollett, starring Ellen Page and Evan Rachel Wood. Despite the absence of our flesh-hungry friends I felt the movie was worth a mention here and I do recommend seeing it should the opportunity arise.

It's a solid movie following a father and his two daughters. When power plants across the United States begin to shut down for no apparent reason, the family is thrust into a world without energy and forced to overcome the obstacles that brings, along with the rising dangers of such a situation.

The movie displayed some fantastic acting and decent direction, presenting many themes of the apocalypse genre; the main criticism being it gripped too tightly to the genre, making much of the film predictable. While I doubt that fact alone would ruin many movie goers experience, I however watch far too many apocalypse and zombie movies and had the plot foreshadowing slap me in the face every five minutes.

World War Z (Film) Review

Film: World War Z
Director: Marc Forster
Cast: Brad Pitt, Mireille Enos, Daniella Kertesz,
Release: June, 2013

My Rating: 8/10*

   Never before have I seen such an intense build-up for a Zombie film. To be fair, this is -THE- Zombie film that us deranged Zombie activists have been waiting for. This is -THE- Zombie film I have been waiting for since Zombieland. The hype is so great they've been raving about it in my local tabloid. To be fair, this is a reasonable level of expectation considering they named it after the work by cult-hero Max Brooks and got Brad Pitt on side. The only real question was would it flop like a carcass and let us all down. Well, it didn't.

   If you've yet to go and see it, go. Now. In my honest and fantastic opinion, it is up there with the best Zombie films (not counting Zomedies) ever. And yes, I know exactly who George A. Romero is.

Do not continue reading if spoilers will crush your soul.

   I've only just digested the gruesome amount of Zombie-Awesomeness I've just witnessed so do bear with me if my thoughts are a little sporadic. Let's begin at the beginning. Tee Hee. Let me pose a question - how many Zombie films beat around the bush for ages at the start of the film with the standard: there an outbreak, is it spreading, isn't it, lardy dar, leaving us bored and waiting? World War Z managed to condense this process into an introduction that never dragged and drop-kicked us on.

   I loved the chaos of the opening scenes. Often Zombie films skip over the initial outbreak. It goes from "Ahh, Zombies eating everyone to Ahh, everyone dead and the streets are deserted", like everyone is so worthless they die out in the first five minutes then shamble off out of camera shot. While they did have a budget that probably exceeds that of the entire genre so far, they successfully managed to shoot this transaction in the film. The pharmacy scene, I thought, was brilliantly placed. All manner of shit has kicked loose. A stranger with a gun emerges from a darkened room. Is he friendly? Will he shoot? No, he helps find the medicine they need and off they go on their way. It truly was a DayZ moment placed into film... You know what I mean.

   The new portrayal of what the Zee-Virus is and how it works is seemingly the next step in the genre. No longer spread by an instinctual 'need-to-feed' or severe nerd-rage issues, it is systematically spread as a conscious pathogen would be spread. Seeking healthy tissue and turning it unhealthy. I like how the impetus has moved on from the lone-Zombie to the wider picture.

   It's worth talking about the Zombies... Because that's kind of why we're here. I didn't, with the exception of a pretty cheap jump-scare, find them frightening at all. Call me a massive girly-pants but some of the other films I have reviewed on this blog do successfully scare me with their Zeds and unfortunately World War Z failed on this front. They would say they are a merge of the Zombies (I use a very loose meaning of the word) of 28 Days Later, I Am Legend and any David Attenborough documentary on ants. They have the anger and ability to sprint as the Days Zombies do. They have a wonderful spring to their jumping that makes me think they could better serve by donning a cape and fighting crime. And as the intro credits rightly show, they have that animal-hive mentality that helps them overcome obstacles. If you have a fear of Zombies and ants, I commend your bravery for sitting through the whole film... The combination definitely works though, and the scene where they scale the Jerusalem barrier inevitably makes you reconsider that Zombie plan of boarding up your windows and hoping they go away. Not even my beloved treadmills would be sufficient.

I only really had a couple of nipping issues with this film and that is saying something considering my hatred of all things annoying. I think the biggest, and don't take this the wrong way, detrimental thing about this film is how the two women are characterised. I was equally hopeful and aroused when Brad Pitts wife puts the size 10 boot stomp on the Zombie when in the van. I did the whole eyelash flutter, "that is the babe for me" and pictured our awesome marriage that revolved around killing sprees of the mindless horde. Beyond the "staying-with-the-family" role, she was a hard ass when she needed to be and I thought they'd finally included a decent female character in a Zombie film. 

   That was until she went and spoiled it all by doing something stupid like calling her husband while he is trying to be super-stealthy and... Well... Stay alive. She single-handedly kills the remaining members of his protection squad and the Captain of the troops they meet. Not to mention the supermarket scene when she needs saving from two bell-ends... Just after she put the smack down on some ravenous Undead. Ahh well, B+ for effort.

   The awesome female soldier Brad Pitt hooks up with follows a similar pattern. Lobbing grenades and spaffing off rifle-rounds, she re-murders her way through a literal mountain of them and gets Brad Pitt to safety at the cost of her hand. Then survives a plane crash and wakes up before Brad. Bad-ass, right? Yeah, until they're making their way through the W.H.O. Spotted by one Zombie, they have the option of using one of their melee weapons to put it down without, with any luck, making enough noise to attract the other 79. So she decides to put three rounds in it from her pistol before it's even close, thus alerting the horde and potentially fucking the mission...  I guess women can't be perfect, huh?

   Bottom Line: It's a good film made excellent by its seemingly endless budget. I don't think it has anything that is truly 'new' or genre redefining in it but you can't hold that against it. The genre IS a stale genre for stuff that's 'hip' and 'down with the kids'. I rate it highly and hope they look at making another, perhaps not as a sequel but, in the spirit of the book, another story of survivors in the same world.

Slay Safe,

Merke

+ The music from Muse was fantastic

The Top 5 Zombie Comedy Movies!

Merke's Top 5 Zom-Coms

   Ladies, gentlemen, flesh-eaters everywhere; it's that time again... You know... -That- time... Buuh! It's time to take a break from stomping heads and severing limbs to compile another of my soon-to-be famous Top 5s!

   I just have something I need to say before any fan-boys throw a tantrum. If your favourite Zom-Com is not in the list, it does not mean that I hate it and that it's a shit film (It's just highly likely) Take this as my disclaimer; this Top 5 is my personal Top 5 and it doesn't represent a factual ranking by any account - it is solely based on my opinion... My amazing, sexy opinion... I jest. Kind of.

   For those of you that haven't seen some of the masterpieces referenced to below, I warn you that I do reveal a spoiler or two over the course of this post. I recommend you go away, lock yourself in your room or that of a close-friend and watch all of them. After which you can come back and read this post. Go on, off with you!

   Let the countdown commence! *eerie music*

#5: Cockneys Vs Zombies

'Rrrrrrrruuuuuuuuuuuunnnnn!'

   If the scene and quote above weren't enough to put this in your Top 5 then you need your brain checked... And eaten... I literally leaked fluid in laughter - I'll leave from where to your imagination. It's something I can watch, on repeat, and still find hysterical each and every time. In fact, HERE is a link to it on Youtube for you.

   In my opinion, Alan Ford steals the show. I already loved him for Lock Stock and Snatch; this film merely adds yet one more reason... That's not to say the rest of the cast sucked, far from it, but he is a head above... Well, you should have watched it by now, so you know what I mean.

   Combining a Zombie scenario with a setting in the Eastend of London was always going to be a beautiful combination. It did not disappoint. 

#4: Undead (2003)

'I'm having a turd of a day.'

   I shambled over this wonderful film last year while trolling through some obscure chat forum. The humour is quite silly... Yes, I do understand that most Zom-Com humour is silly, but this film takes the biscuit for exceptional silliness. I think the opening sums up what I mean - the meteor smashes into the old lady, not with a KABOOM!, but with a slapping sound. Fantastic.

  
   Marion (played by Mumbo McKay, sensational name by the way) is hilarious throughout. His story about the Zombie fish is something my flat-mate and I still refer to and laugh about. The ending leaves it wide open for another film which we've yet to be graced with. Please. Give it to us!

#3: BrainDead (1992)

'Your mother ate my dog!' - 'Not all of it...'

   BrainDead really stands in an apocalypse of its own when viewed with the contents of this list. Where Undead was exceptionally silly, BrainDead combines it with the dark, gory, rotting underbelly of Zombie films. It pains me to admit it but this film made me gag.

   The scene in question is relatively close to the start. It pounced on me before I really knew what the fuck was going on. It's when Lionel (Timothy Balme), his mother (Elizabeth Moody) and their two visitors are sat at the table for dinner. Even now, the thought of the mothers ear falling into her custard, the slow, tense rise of the spoon to her mouth and the rubbery squelch as she chews on it make me want to throw up everywhere... But in a good way!

   It wasn't until I watched it that I realised it is the source of the famous 'lawnmower' scene that I'd witnessed a long time ago. Despite being the oldest film on this list, it has aged superbly; the gore is fantastic, the characters interesting and the Zombies... Well... Shall we say are portrayed in an interesting fashion. Especially when Zombie Vicar and Zombie Nurse get it on and make Zombie baby... I said it was interesting!

   

   I have already written a full review for BrainDead if you fancy a read. You can find it HERE.

#2: Zombieland (2009)

'The first to go... Were the fatties.'

   There comes a time, every couple of years, where I think to myself (Because I wouldn't be thinking to anyone else... Well, maybe you guys... I digress) "That's it. It's done. There won't be any more good Zombie films." And then I cry. And drink. And whack on Night of the Living Dead to relive it all over again. 

   Then one comes along and hoists you up from the gloomy rut. It brushes you off, wipes away your tears of unfathomable sadness and diagnoses you with a few years left yet. Zombieland, back in 2009, was that film.

   I loved how fresh it was. The nice blend of characters, the idea behind Columbus's (Jesse Eisenberg's) list of survival rules, the Bill Murray cameo; it all just came together wonderfully. Being a massive nerd, as I assume most of you are too, I can really connect to the main character having to give up his life of energy drink and computer games (cough*World of Warcraft*cough) to go off and fight the unliving. In fact, that sounds like a dream come true... Another connection we have is that I also have the serious hots for Wichita (Emma Stone)... As I assume you all do too...

  You can find my review for Zombieland HERE. 

#1: Shaun of the Dead (2004)

'Ohh he's got an off!'

   Words cannot express my undying (pun intended) love for this film and I think all of you knew it would be snug in the number one spot. It's not only my favourite Zom-Com but potentially my favourite film of all time. I've promised to keep it down to two paragraphs or I won't shut up about this film. I quote it endlessly, I have a Cricket Bat in my survival kit, I dress up as Shaun on occasion... I am a fan-boy. No two ways about it.

   I won't prattle on for too long as I've already got a full review for Shaun of the Dead HERE. I just think this film epitomises the Zom-Com genre and, while it might be a little lacking in some of the silliness, makes up for it with an underlying wit. I'm sure you've watched it countless times, but I just want to point out what I mean with a quote from the opening stages of the film.

  Near the beginning of the film, Ed (Nick Frost) tells Shaun their plan fir the following day. That plan is to: "Have a bloody Mary first thing, grab a bite at the King's Head, have a couple at the Little Princess, stagger back, then come back to the bar for shots!" 

   It took me a couple of sittings to realise but it foreshadows the entire film. The first Zombie they meet is Mary, in their garden. Shaun's Step Dad is bitten on the neck. They pick up David and Dianne, the couple, from Liz's, the Little Princess. They stagger back to the Winchester, pretending to be Zombies. They finish by using a shotgun at the bar. 

   Simon Pegg, I want your babies... Moving on...

   That concludes my Top 5 list. I hope it's been relatively amusing for you. You're still reading, so it bloody well must have been. I'll hopefully have a book review out for you by the end of the week. No spoilers yet as to what it is though!

   Oh, and I'd like to leave you with a little question. I found some amazing images the other day which I've linked below. My question is: If you could throw Zombies into any film, which film would it be and why? Best answer gets a mystery grand prize.

Slay Safe,

Merke

   

Outpost II: Black Sun Review

Film: Outpost: Black Sun
Director: Steve Barker
Actors: Richard Coyle, Clive Russell, Michael Byrne, Catherine Steadman
Release: August, 2012

My Rating: 5/10*

   What could be better than an influx of Nazi Zombies to the film industry? The answer, my friends, is nothing and Outpost II follows the first as we join our favourite group of stab-happy Storm Troopers be, well, stab-happy. I was tingling with excitement bordering arousal when I stumbled across it in a local shop. I found the first one, despite a few niggling flaws, intensely enjoyable. So how did it's descendant get up and shamble?

   It certainly carries the torch for the first: unstoppable Nazi Zombies? Check. Horribly stereotypical (this time British) soldiers? Check. A hog-tied, slapped-around-a-bit version of the Unified Field Theory to explain this conundrum? Yeah that's still in there! There's a fantastic return to that damned bunker that makes me think of World At War and even that creepy bitch from Insidious makes an appearance.

   It deserves a quick mention that Outpost: Black and it's predecessor are both relatively low-budget films but as the audience you won't notice; the costumes, sounds and scenes are all brilliantly built and modelled to be intense but believable.

   I think I'll just cut to the chase with this one - I didn't like it. I wanted to, really I did, but I didn't. And I can tell you why. I think, if you completely removed the female lead and her storyline from every scene, even the ones with dialogue, it would be a better film. Her part in the grand scheme of things was tacked on. It didn't drive the story regarding our very hungry bros. She was looking for the mastermind behind it all. A man who gets possibly two minutes of screen time at best. The only use to come of that plot line is the nice cliffhanger and how it paves the way for another film. Well, kind of  paves the way. I didn't care enough about her crap to be excited for things to come... I'm not saying I don't care about Nazis... And the holocaust... I'm just saying that... She... Urgh damn it! I know I could say this in a number of ways and I'd just be burying myself (point of information: get cremated) further but the point I'm trying to make is that she lacked the presence to be the main character...

   Oh, and expect a cameo from Darth Sidious.

   Bottom line: If you're a fan of the first one, watch it, but don't hold out too much hope. I've found from my feedback that this film is definitely hit and miss. For me it was miss but who knows, you might love it.

ZombieLand Rules

I watched this immense film again today. Having a set code, or a list of rules, IS a far better way of going about things than an exact plan. It is impossible to plan for every situation and every scenario that will befall us come Z-Day. To have a set of guidelines will aid you in this.

The Zombieland list (below) is incomplete but the ones we do see are all very good tips. Over the next week or so I'll add my own and see what's left at the end!

Rule #1: Cardio
- Fatties are the first to go.
Rule #2: Double Tap
- Ankle chewers are just evil leprechauns. 
Rule #3: Beware of Bathrooms
- Go as nature intended!
Rule #4: Seatbelts
- Just safer, even after the end of the world.
Rule #7: Travel Light
- You still need to be faster than the fatties.
Rule #17: Do/Don't be a Hero
- Chicks dig heroes/Who needs women, anyway?
Rule #18: Limber Up
- The gazelle didn't limber up. That was the problem.
Rule #22: When In Doubt, Know Your Way Out
- If you're in a maze, you're fucked.
Rule #31: Check The Back Seat
- Nothing worse than a hungry hitch-hiker.
Rule #32: Enjoy The Little Things
- It's in the pre-apocalypse list too!

Slay Safe,
Merke